The thing I don’t like about some of the women I meet, is their constant need, their desideratum (that’s right) to talk about how much they love to screw. How much they want coitus, and how tonight -much like previous nights I imagine in my jealous blackness- they will get laid.
They lay their eyes on some guy across the room, and while chatting to you, they patiently wait for the guy to make eye contact, and if he fails to do this, they just go right up their and lay it out straight for him.
Okay, maybe not so bluntly, but sometimes it’s so obvious.
Now, I won’t beat around the bush. I am not an ugly guy, not by any means. I’m not a short guy, or a particularly angry guy. I keep in okay shape and can occasionally be found to be attractive to the opposite sex. Seriously. I do alright. I have loved and been loved. I have dated, seen, been involved. However you want to refer to relationships, been there.
But right now, I just want to…done that.
I want some non-committal fucking. Some schtuping, some banging, I want to punch her in the underpants (I am not proud of that, and I truly do find it shocking).
There I said it. No more seeing or dating or getting to know you, getting to know you. Just straight to the bedroom thank you very much. This sounds really bad I know, but there are times in a man’s life when he wants to be really bad.
In, out, see you fucking later.
Is that asking so much?
My favourite part of the night – seeing her walk right past me and smacks a kiss on any other loser in the place. Any other loser.
*** *** ***
So, I have recently been making more of an effort to get the girl in bed that night. A friend and me have been casing out the chicks at parties recently, looking for the more eager girls.
My game was sad and pathetic. I thought I would tackle the dumb ones first.
The lowest I sunk, shit this was low.
“Yeah, I thought that Brad and Jen were a good couple, and remember that episode of Friends he was on? That was hilarious.”
Was I really prepared to stoop so low?
The answer was and is yes, but I threw this one out there, and got hit out of the park.
“Ha ha. Listen, do you want go back to mine and have sex?”
Smart girls?
Italians?
Drunk girls?
Druggy girls?
Sex on leg girls?
Italians? I like Italians.
Nobody bought what I was selling, even though it was so cheap and could have been good, right?
Tall girls, short girls, short girls and tall girls.
Nobody bought what I was selling.
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2 comments:
It's easy to do this but Rudolph you are looking in the wrong place. Seriously. You need to venture out to places like Bar 53 in Epping and dirty online rooms. Girls don't normally flaunt need for coitus as much as certain people you know. And that person is not a cross-section of the general female population.
You want easy? Get out of the city centre. You want unnattached? Go online. You want love? Then go overseas. Melbourne is gay on the warm fuzzy front.
Love,
Me
I think I saw you Rudolph last Saturday night. That WAS you wasn't it?!
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