Chapter 11 – Melbourne day 16: a little cloudy, but warm/ You just can’t find a good man in this city!

Constant surprises are one of the few things I get in life. Recently, I have been noticing all of this great architecture in the city and surrounding towns. All popping up out of nowhere.

One morning, it was a little cloudy, but warm. I jumped off the number 3 tram and saw a 30's style building staring at me, inviting me to gaze upon its old visage and admire it. It wasn't the most wonderful or beautiful thing I’ve seen, but enough to make me smile. I walk, ride or catch a tram up this street everyday, and have never seen it before.

Angles, levels and light. That's what it is.

At my interview last week, I looked across the roof tops of the surrounding buildings and was amazed. Gyms, play areas, gardens, exotic roof top tents made of shiny green glass. I think I even saw a house on top of one, a proper house.

Or maybe I imagined that. A two storey, gorgeous house on top of a skyscraper.

Rainy days, sunny days, cloudy, windy or just warm days. All these weather conditions. You can then mix them up, it can be rainy and windy, or warm but windy too right? So many combinations.

I raise this point because while we have so many contrasting and unique weather conditions in this city, there seems to be only two types of men.

Fuckheads/arseholes or nice guys girls don't like.

Not much choice there? What is a girl to do? What is a girl to do? I actually feel sorry for them, I really do. I have met my fair share of arseholes, the kind that pick the drunkest or most fucked up girl at the bar or party and using their fuckhead abilities (touching, more drinking, taking the girls hand and leading them away, away from everyone else) they usually end up banging this poor, helpless girl. I see this and shake me head, this is not how Rudy rolls, no thank you.

You see guys talking about the bitch they fucked last night. Gym junkies with huge pecs (sick cunts!) acting like absolute cocks. Sportsmen, arrogant as all hell, knowing their fame will get them laid. Those strut-ty, good looking rich types who treat their girlfriends like shit, but the always have a girl on their arm. Just a few examples of the arseholes (and guys I don’t like, in case you missed that!). However, these fuckheads are everywhere, and they don't all look the same, or talk the same. They come in so many guises: art ones, hot ones, grunge and emo ones. They are deceptively hard to track down.

Deceptively hard I say.

And then you have the nice guys. The non schemers, the ones who don't talk about the bitch they fucked last night (although most didn't sleep with anyone the night before mind you). They are sweet and funny guys, sometimes Rudy is one of these guys, sometimes. These guys are harder to spot, since the arsholes blend so well these days. They are just guys who don't know how, or don't feel comfortable taking advantage of a drunk chick. These are the guys that put those girls into cabs and make sure they get home safely.

Some people call them pussies, others might say they actually have respect for people, and like to treat people the way they would like to be treated.

These men, they actually do exist ladies. They really do. But let's not pretend these nice guys don't think about sex all the time as well: they do. They think about it all the time, and probably because they are not schtuping at this very moment. Why? Cause they are too nice it seems. Not much of an excuse is it? Being nice don't get you much on the mean streets. It gets you points with the olds, with their family, and they probably think you are really sweet, but they still go for the fuckheads every time.

Now Guido, Rudy is not complaining, or even whingeing - he is just confused. Yes, confused. I can't find a nice guy in this city. They are all pricks. Comments like this confuse me. I know many nice guys, I really do. All guys are just arseholes, she says the next day. I ask her, So, do you want to see him again?

Not really Rudy, he's a prick, so full of himself.

Was he so full of himself before this? Before the intercourse? I hasten to judge, but I think he was indeed.

Most indeed. I also fail to understand how attractive girls with wonderful brains love to go for the guys they consider to be fuckheads. Hang on, let me start again. How intelligent, great girls always go for the arseholes? How they bemoan this fuckhead or that arsehole, but hook up with the next one each time. They complain so much; but it seems they are getting what they want out of it. The fuckhead is usually hot right? He wouldn't be an arsehole if he was fat or ugly now would he? So, the hot fuckhead gets your blood flowing and your motor running right, then what has he done wrong or how has he acted in a way to cause such offence the next day or the next week?

How can they be so displeased by the arsehole, when, by all indications, they are getting exactly what they want from him?

Precious bodily fluids. That's what the fuckhead is about right? Does this make the girl a bitch or slut or skank or whore? Because she wants to share in those fluids, because she has a twitch that needs strumming? Is she as much an arsehole as him? Is she the fuckhead?

There are no nice guys in this city. All the hot ones are pricks, and all the nice ones I don't like.

And imagine if I had the inclination to reverse this? To talk about the lack of women in Melbourne, the lack of nice women. What would I say? Would I write about the girls that only go for the hot guys, and then complain the next day? Enough of these one-night-girls, where are the nice ones? Where are all the smart ones?

Oh yeah, I remember now.

Probably with their boyfriends; the great guys. That's where all those wonderful girls are. And that's where you’ll find the wonderful men ladies, with their girlfriends, partners, lovers or wives.