Chapter 7 – I am really pissed off at the moment, but will probably regret it later

'Not everything is black and white Rudy.'

'It doesn't have to be any colour at all John, it just needs to be.'


'Man, it was just easier at the time to say that Rudy.'

'And now Mary, is it easy now? Is this less "easier" or more "easier"?'


'The fact is, I don't know what I wanted at the time, which is why I said it that way.'

'Did you lie to me on purpose? Or did you really not know what you wanted?'

'Dang Rudy, you are so damn demanding. Sometimes that isn't fun...'

'I don't care it its fun...'

'Let me finish. You are so demanding, and that can get tiresome. I can't and won't tell you everything, all the time.'

'I'm not asking for everything, all of the time. It has happened so many times to me, I get told convenient truths or lies (if I could be so bold) so then I have to be there for someone or lend them my support.'

'Jesus Rudy, you act so goddamn righteous. As if you don’t lie or manipulate.'


So, the truth is something that means very little to some people, and a great deal to others. For little Rudy, much like my dear friend Sebastien, the truth is pretty important. I would rather know, then live in lies. Ignorance is bliss, true. But once I get to know something, then I need to always know it.

This is how lil' Rudy works. Sometimes it can be bad for me, very bad. Not because the truth hurts, or because the truth is wonderful, but rather the affects of non truths. Lies, I hate them. This includes kidding yourself (dear friend Sebastien is big on this one unfortunately), dis-respecting yourself, and trying to fucking fool me.

I fucking hate being fooled. I hate being leaned on and then learning that what I knew ain't shit. The truth is elsewhere, somewhere more convenient for the person, far more convenient than here and now.